Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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Where's my tractor?

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

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A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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no

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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