What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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Lil Wayne

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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anti-joke.com

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

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penis

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Romeny or Obama? Obamney

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

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What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

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Why is six afraid of seven. Because seven is a rapist.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A BRICK!!

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hi

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Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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