Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Dont look at me.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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69

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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