A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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