What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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How can you tell if a woman is a man? If she has a penis

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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knock knock whos there ben ben who ben ages since i seen you !!! vote this up please or a unicorn will die , unicorns are not real , but a moth can ride bikes so please vote this down

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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