Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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