Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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