Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

Look at your hand. Made you look!

45.

Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

Roses are red Violets are blue

Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

What's long brown and sticky? S**t

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What's better than group sex? Gang rape

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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