What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

Okay, one second.

Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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