What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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