A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

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What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

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President Donald Trump

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the WNBA

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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Dogs in my home.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Your mom.

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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A black man has 100 problems. on his AP calculus test.

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

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melon

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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