What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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The elephant and the mouse was gonna go swimming at the lake, but they realize the Elephant forgot his swimming trunks! Mouse: Do you really need two trunks? Elephant: Oh well I can do with this one... but its not a swimming trunk! Mouse: Huh? Moral: Huh?

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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I had sex with my mother in law

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Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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