what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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Remember when they called online casino`s betting sport? Anti Joke potential detected. I used to play soccer and box back then, but I guess I was still not "sporty" enough for betting sports... And as thus I afforded my lawyer education. Moral: Now that you know my education, do you really think id ever type real morals here? Mwahahahaha!

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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The awkward moment when these anti jokes are NOT funny. at all.

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Jersey Shore

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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