A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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brainfart

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? No one OK???? BYE, BYE U still there? Yeah Umm . . . ?

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A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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Thumbs this down

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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