Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Penis!

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How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

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What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

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What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

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what is an antijoke? a type of comedy in which the joke ends in an antivlimax that it is funny in its own right GDS*

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Why was the man crying? Because he was punched in the stomach.

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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That's a rhetorical question chickens don't cross roads!

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Whats better than an anti joke? Having sex with a supermodle

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Ahem. Testicles. That is all.

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What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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