whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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THIS IS an anti-joke.

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

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What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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What happened when the teacher told the class to be quite? The class was quite.

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Man goes fishing.... Catches Fish.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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7

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Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

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Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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Justin Bieber is a good singer.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Jacob Edwards has friends

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"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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