Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

7

yolo mother f-uckaaaa

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

Billy Cundiff.

how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

what has 50 legs, but can't walk? half of a centipede

A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

A black man walks into an abbatoir.

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

A pedophile walks into a daycare

What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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