Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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A man made a sandwich.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

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What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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Jesus was a good guy

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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