ecks! why zee?

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

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How much moss must a Moschops chop if a Moschops must chop moss?

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Snausages.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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