sdasdadasdasd

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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what do you call a group of people who are systematiclly ruining a once well run family football club? steve kean , the venkys, and there advisors

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Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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hi corey

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

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What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

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What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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