What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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tea with milk?

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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Leave her alone...

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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