Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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I hate blackniggers

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A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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Strawberries!

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was being dragged by a truck

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I never asked for this.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? well no one knows for certain, but they do know there's alot of fridges involved

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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