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This is you cat This is just cat This is wasted cat This is your cat This is time cat This is reading cat This is this cat Now read the third word of every sentance

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Life is an elephant, get married.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

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Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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Two muslims walk into the bar, Everybody continues with their daily lives. One should not be judged by their race or religion as all humans on earth are as equal as one another and should be treated the same way..... And then the building blew up.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

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hi corey

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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