An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

I'm so hungry I could eat food

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops