Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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I lost my tractor.

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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squirrels with massive bonerss

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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Yo mamas so fat

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What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

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the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

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Two men drove their car of a cliff. They died.

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why did the boy drop his ice-cream? because he got hit by a bus

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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