Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

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your father died

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

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People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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