Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

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how now brown cow. WTF.

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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