Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

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How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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wood cant chuck wood

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? Probably a lot of wood.

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mark is mark

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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