Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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JFK

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops