There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

Wade

This schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. She scored poorly from her lack of practice and experience and was turned off from the sport.

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

Alex Eggbert

Ebola

whats cold and in a box...have a guess

If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

knock knock go away

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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