Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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