Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

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What Makes Me Smile? Face Muscles.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

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What is white and is sometimes drunk? Milk.

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Mrs. Welsh

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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There once was a man from Kentucky...then he raped everyone in sight... THE END

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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What looks like a dick? A penis

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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I went river dancing once. I fell in

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, get out of the garden it's time for lunch.

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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