What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Okay, one second.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm about to kill you Don't scream, here's a lollipop

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why are black guys good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

trumpy trumpy trump

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops