Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

What did the fish say? Moo

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

your father died

What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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