A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Your mom.

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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This schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. She scored poorly from her lack of practice and experience and was turned off from the sport.

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

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One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

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penis

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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What did I do last night?work

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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Q: What is worse than seven babies in a trash can? A: One baby in seven trash cans. Q: What is worse than one baby in seven trash cans? A: The Holocaust.

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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