A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

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Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

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i saw your mom, i said hi

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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You know what is not cool? Fire.

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knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

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What's the difference from an muslim and a christian blonde Religion

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

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A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

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What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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