roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

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How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

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motley crew

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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dead battery come on down

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What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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Women.

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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