A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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Why wasn't the girl raped? Cause she wasn't attractive.

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Knock knock, Come in...

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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why cant Joey jump for joy? beacause hes dead

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Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

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Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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Two buissness men had a meeting at 12:00 they had there meeting at 12:00 and left back to there normal life.

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Why did the American run over the black man. Because he didn't see him standing there.

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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Your social life.

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So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

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What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

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What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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Why did the black man get arrested? Because he was in possession of powder cocaine, which is a schedule I narcotic in the United States. This incident probably would not have happened if an end was put to the war on drugs, which is notorious for disproportionately targeting blacks and other minority groups, even though whites are statistically more likely to use such substances.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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