Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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KSI

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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alex h is such a ginger, that her hair downstairs is red.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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Who's this Jesus, have you heard of him?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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