How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

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What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

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what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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what is big and white? the moon

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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I have two hands. Some people dont.

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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involved parents.

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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