What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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knock knock who's there?

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So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

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zebras

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What type of person does a black guy go to when he's sick? The doctor

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A woman comes at the doctor.

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this is gay

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Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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WNBA

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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A black baby dies and goes to Heaven. When god put wings on him the baby sais, "Ahh gee god am I an angel?" Then god sais, "Nahh nigga you a bat."

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A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

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A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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