why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

What items don't float? A school bus full of children

If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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