Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

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Yo daddy!

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

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Where did the Welsh man work? At an office complex.

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What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

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Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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