Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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A jew go out of a bar

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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