Q) what's black and white and red all over? A) a slaughtered zebra.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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what did the white man say to the black man with the gun? Nothing he was dead

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Comment is abusive and has been removed.

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

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IF UR READING THIS EXPECTING A GOOD JOKE HERE GOES.... WHY DID THE CUP SAY HELLO GET IT ? I DONT

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whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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Penis.

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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