What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

There was a dedicates Muslim man on a plane. He was travelling to Melbourne for a business conference so he could help support his family as well as he can.

Why did John scream when he came in to his bedroom? He stepped on a nail

whos gay? you are

what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

What's fat and ginger? My dog.

How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

Why were there teeth marks in the guys arm? He bit himself

What's worse than rush hour traffic? Your childhood friend, Ricky, was just brutally killed by a street cleaner

friend: whats in the box? me: shhhh, its your mom... im saving her for later.

If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

A woman walks into a bar and orders a pint of ale. "Are you a Lesbian?", joked the barman. "Yes", replied the woman.

How did the fat man die? Type 2 diabetes

A blond, a brunnet and a read head all fall off a cliif, wich one did not die They all died you idiots

Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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