what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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Guess who didn't have breakfast this morning? Kids in Africa

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Knock knock Who's there My dick

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Kah-________-

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops