How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Hellooooo whos there? Its me fred Fred? A Canadian

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at rhyming Refridgerator

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

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Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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Your mom

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Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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69

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Chuck norris survived rapture.

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Why did the Nigger fuck shit? He was a shit fucking Nigger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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