How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Woman's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So dont touch it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

No it isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down

Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down

Type 17 diabetes. Hepatitis R. Pubic Lice. Just Pubic Lice.

thumb_up thumb_down

i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops