What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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Why is the black guy bad a Hockey? He was raped with a hockey stick by his father, after many years of pain and sex jokes, and the internet meme of the rapey daddy came out, the man then tryed to kill him self, but lived and the became a... shit i forgot, well long story short, it was roger from family guy.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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My butt!!!!

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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