Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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Obama is a good president.

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

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German sausage is the wurst

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops